How to Feel Better
When you're feeling down, it can be really hard to feel like things are ever going to get better—but they will! Everybody gets the blues sometimes, so don't be too hard on yourself for feeling sad, angry, lonely, or depressed. Whether you're dealing with a momentary funk or your feelings are persisting long-term, we've gathered a list of a few time-tested tricks that can help you change the momentum and start feeling better. Taking control of your own state of mind can be tough, but you can do it!
[Edit]Steps
[Edit]Do breathing exercises to steady yourself in the moment.
- Take several slow, deep breaths to calm your nervous system. When you're feeling anxious or upset, your body has a physical reaction to those emotions. When you notice yourself starting to feel tense, stop what you're doing and focus on taking a few long breaths. Once your body starts to relax, it will be easier to work through your thoughts.[1]
- As your breathing slows, it will stop the fight-flight-freeze reaction happening in your nervous system, so your body will slowly return to normal.
- Sometimes it can be hard to inhale deeply, especially if you're experiencing anxiety. If that's the case, start by exhaling as slowly as you can.
[Edit]Figure out what's getting you down.
- Acknowledge what's really making you feel bad. If you notice you're in a bad mood, take a few moments to check in with yourself—did something happen to trigger those feelings? You might already know exactly what's bothering you—like a recent breakup, trouble at work, or a fight with someone you love. Sometimes, the issue is a little harder to pinpoint, like feeling inadequate or being overwhelmed by the state of the world. Either way, it can be surprisingly helpful to simply acknowledge what it is that's really bothering you.[2]
- If you can't seem to figure out the problem, try asking yourself the opposite: What would it take for you to feel happier?[3]
- Once you figure out what's wrong, start thinking about whether there's anything you can do to make the problem better. If there is, brainstorm a few steps you might take to start changing that.
- If you're feeling sad but there doesn't seem to be a certain reason why, you might be experiencing depression. It's a good idea to talk to your doctor if you think that might be the case.
[Edit]Be compassionate with yourself.
- Show yourself the same love you would give a friend. Practice paying close attention to the thoughts you have about yourself. When you notice that you're thinking negatively, ask yourself questions like, "Would I say that to my best friend?" or "What would I say if I heard my best friend say that about themselves?" Then, challenge yourself to speak to yourself kindly, the way you would talk to that friend.[4]
- For instance, instead of thinking, "I failed that test—I'm so worthless," you might think, "I'm going to make a plan to study better so this doesn't happen again. I know I can improve this grade."
- This can be really hard at first, but it gets easier with practice. Start by just learning to notice your thoughts, then work up to replacing them with more hopeful, positive statements.[5]
- Our thoughts have the power to transform the world around us for either the better or the worse. Happy people aren't necessarily the ones with the best circumstances; they are the ones with the best attitudes.[6]
[Edit]Open your windows or go outside.
- Get some sun for a quick pick-me-up. If you can, try to spend some time in a natural setting, like a park, the woods, or even your backyard. It's more than just a fun way to spend an afternoon—being in nature actually helps ease stress and anxiety![7] If you can't get outside, though, open your curtains or blinds to catch some of the sun's rays—you'll still get a boost.
- It's thought that sunlight affects your mood by boosting your levels of vitamin D. Low vitamin D levels have been associated with depression—but even 10-20 minutes in the sun can help your body start making more of this important nutrient.[8]
- Remember to wear sunscreen if you're going to be outdoors.
[Edit]Laugh your way to a better mood.
- Watch or read something that always makes you chuckle. It can seem like you need to already be in a good mood to laugh, but laughing can actually make your body and mind feel better. When you laugh, you take in more air and your brain releases endorphins, so you feel more physically relaxed and happy. Try watching a silly movie, standup video, or TV show for a quick mood boost.[9]
- You might also read a funny book, comic strip, or magazine.
- For an in-person laugh, go to a comedy show or trade funny stories with a friend.
- If nothing else works, force yourself to fake laugh. Try laughing in different silly voices, too. It usually won't take long before this turns into full-fledged giggles.
[Edit]Get creative in the kitchen.
- Cheer yourself up by cooking or baking a delicious treat. When you're feeling down, cooking and baking can be a great way to lift your spirits. Measuring ingredients and following a recipe can give you a sense of control over your environment. You also have to focus on what you're doing, which can help get your mind off of what's bothering you. And at the end, you'll have something really tasty to enjoy![10]
- Many recipes have some room for you to improvise, so you get a chance to express your creative side. For instance, you might experiment with how much rosemary or garlic to put in a pasta recipe, or you might get artistic when you're decorating a cake.
[Edit]Plant a garden or houseplant.
- Play around in the dirt for a mood boost. Science shows that the smell of dirt can actually help cheer you up, so channel your inner child and get your hands dirty. If you have a yard where you live, consider planting a flowerbed, a fruit tree, or an herb garden—talk to someone at a nearby garden center about the best plants to grow where you live.[11]
- Even if you don't have much space, you can still repot a houseplant, start a windowsill garden, or put a pretty flower in a pot near your front door.
[Edit]Reach out to someone you can talk to.
- Fight the urge to isolate yourself when you're down. It can be hard to admit when you need someone to lean on, but it's a really brave thing to do. If there's someone in your life who makes you feel comforted, let them know you could use a shoulder. That can be anyone—like a family member, friend, teacher, or coworker. Ask them to meet you for coffee, go with you on a walk, or even video chat.[12]
- Talking to someone else can help give you perspective on what you're going through. It will also strengthen the connection you have with the people you're talking to.[13]
- If you feel like you don't have anyone you can talk to, try taking a class or joining a club to meet new people. You can also talk to a therapist—hearing a professional opinion on your situation can be really refreshing.
- If there's anyone in your life who makes you feel bad about yourself, limit your time around them, if you can.[14]
[Edit]Write about your feelings in a journal.
- Put your thoughts on paper to help you sort through them. Journaling can be a really powerful way to organize your thoughts and get some clarity. It's also really helpful if you're dealing with something that's too private to talk to other people about, or if you feel like there's no one you can talk to.[15]
- Your journal is just for you—you can keep it forever, or you can tear up the page as soon as you're finished writing.
- Don't worry about being a perfect writer. Just sit down and start writing down your thoughts as they come to you—free writing is a great form of self-expression.
[Edit]Remember what's good in your life.
- List the things that you have to be grateful for. If you're feeling down, it's probably because you feel there's something missing in your life. However, everyone has at least a few things to be thankful for. Try writing these things down, and look over the list when you need a reminder of the good things in your life.[16]
- If it's hard to think of something you appreciate right now, start small, like that you had enough to eat today or that you're safe and warm. You can even be thankful for happy memories or certain people in your life.
- If you acknowledge these on a regular basis, it can actually become even easier to notice other good things in your life.
[Edit]Do something you find really relaxing.
- Take some time to unwind. Sometimes, stress builds up to the point that it affects your whole mood, even if you don't realize it. Take a little time that's just for yourself—maybe you can only spare a few minutes, or maybe you can clear your schedule for a whole day. For instance, you might:[17]
[Edit]Make time for a hobby you love.
- Spend more time doing things that you genuinely enjoy. If you never have time for the things you love, it's almost inevitable that you'll start to feel down! Find time on the weekend or after school or work to do things you're passionate about. It's best to do something that occupies 100% of your attention and forces you to be in the present moment—watching TV and surfing the web don't count.[21]
- It could be an outdoor activity like golf, tennis, swimming, or hiking, an artistic activity like music, painting, or photography, or a philanthropic activity like volunteering at an animal shelter. Take a day trip.[22]
- You don't necessarily have to do the same thing every day. Write out a list of things you like to do or stuff you've always wanted to try. Then, choose something from that list to try each day.[23]
[Edit]Do something nice for someone else.
- Shift your perspective by showing kindness to others. Even a small gesture that helps someone else can help you feel better. Not only will you feel good for what you did, but it can also help you see what you're going through in a different light. For instance, you might:[24]
- Donate money or items to charity
- Do volunteer work
- Write a note to encourage someone who's struggling
- Surprise a sick friend with lunch
- Call to chat with a lonely relative
[Edit]Get your body moving.
- Boost your mood with exercise. When you're feeling down, it can be really hard to motivate yourself to get up and going. However, being active for even just 10-20 minutes can actually help release chemicals in your brain that will make you feel happier and more energetic.[25] You don't have to hit the gym—if you find something you really enjoy doing, you'll be more likely to stick to it. Try something like:[26]
- Walking outside
- Dancing to upbeat music
- Following along with a fun workout video
- Swimming
- Doing martial arts
[Edit]Eat a balanced diet to improve your physical and mental health.
- Make healthy choices and eat meals at regular times. When you follow a healthy diet, your brain and body will both feel better. In addition, feeling good about the choices you're making can help boost your self-esteem and make you feel more in control of your life. Eat a meal every 3-4 hours, sticking mainly to healthy choices like lean proteins, plenty of fruits and veggies, and whole grains.[27]
- Avoid eating foods that are high in sugar or refined carbs. These can cause your energy to crash after a few hours, which can affect your mood.
- A deficiency in certain B vitamins can actually lead to depression. Be sure to include plenty of leafy greens, chicken, eggs, beans, and citrus fruits, which are all high in these nutrients.
- Omega-3 fatty acids can also help stabilize your mood, so eat fatty fish like salmon, tuna, herring, and mackerel.[28]
- Craving a sweet treat? Enjoy a piece of dark chocolate, which might help improve your mood while lowering your stress levels.[29]
[Edit]Get plenty of sleep every night.
- Aim for 7-8 hours a night so you'll be well-rested. Being sleep-deprived can have a huge impact on your overall mood. If you're finding it hard to sleep at night, give yourself about an hour of device-free time every night before bed, and do something relaxing to wind down. Also, try to go to bed and wake up at the same time every day—your brain will find it easier to shut down if you're keeping a regular routine.[30]
- It will also help if your bedroom is dark, cool, and quiet. If you need to, invest in things like a sleep machine, fan, and room-darkening curtains to create a calming environment for yourself.
[Edit]Talk to a therapist if you need more help.
- Get help if you feel like you're just getting worse. If you're struggling with feeling down more often than not, you might be depressed, or you might have unresolved issues in your life that you're not coping well with. It can help a lot just to have someone to talk to, and a therapist can help you learn strategies to manage your stress, balance negative thoughts, and deal with tough personal relationships.[31]
- There's nothing wrong with getting help for your mental health. In fact, it takes a lot of strength to admit when you could use an outside perspective to help you feel better!
[Edit]Video
[Edit]Warnings
- If you're experiencing persistent feelings of hopelessness, anger, or emptiness, among other symptoms, you could have depression.[32] Depression is a legitimate health concern and may require treatment beyond the advice provided in this article.
- Avoid self-medicating with alcohol or drugs—these will just make it harder to cope with your feelings in the long run.[33]
[Edit]Related wikiHows
[Edit]References
[Edit]Quick Summary
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/evolution-the-self/201610/emotionally-upset-20-ways-defeat-negative-feelings
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/evolution-the-self/201610/emotionally-upset-20-ways-defeat-negative-feelings
- ↑ [v161183_b01]. 23 January 2020.
- ↑ https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/stress-anxiety-depression/feel-better-and-happy/
- ↑ https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/adult-health/in-depth/self-esteem/art-20045374
- ↑ [v161183_b01]. 23 January 2020.
- ↑ https://www.health.harvard.edu/mind-and-mood/sour-mood-getting-you-down-get-back-to-nature
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/open-gently/201707/if-sun-makes-you-happier-think-about-your-vitamin-d-level
- ↑ https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/stress-management/in-depth/stress-relief/art-20044456
- ↑ https://www.smithsonianmag.com/smart-news/feeling-down-scientists-say-cooking-and-baking-may-help-you-feel-better-180961223/
- ↑ https://www.weforum.org/agenda/2017/07/feeling-down-heres-some-advice-on-putting-the-smile-back-on-your-face/
- ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/articles/depression/coping-with-depression.htm
- ↑ https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/stress-anxiety-depression/feel-better-and-happy/
- ↑ https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/adult-health/in-depth/self-esteem/art-20045374
- ↑ [v161183_b01]. 23 January 2020.
- ↑ [v161183_b01]. 23 January 2020.
- ↑ https://www.inc.com/lolly-daskal/12-remarkable-quick-tricks-to-help-you-feel-better-instantly.html
- ↑ https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/stress-anxiety-depression/feel-better-and-happy/
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/schlepping-through-heartbreak/201703/21-simple-things-you-can-do-feel-better-right-now
- ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/articles/depression/coping-with-depression.htm
- ↑ [v161183_b01]. 23 January 2020.
- ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/articles/depression/coping-with-depression.htm
- ↑ https://www.mayoclinic.org /healthy-lifestyle/adult-health/in-depth/self-esteem/art-20045374
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/schlepping-through-heartbreak/201703/21-simple-things-you-can-do-feel-better-right-now
- ↑ https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/11515738/
- ↑ https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/stress-anxiety-depression/feel-better-and-happy/
- ↑ https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/stress-anxiety-depression/feel-better-and-happy/
- ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/articles/depression/coping-with-depression.htm
- ↑ https://www.psychiatrictimes.com/view/dark-chocolate-depression
- ↑ https://www.nhs.uk/live-well/sleep-and-tiredness/how-to-get-to-sleep/
- ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/articles/depression/coping-with-depression.htm
- ↑ https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/depression/symptoms-causes/syc-20356007
- ↑ https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/stress-anxiety-depression/feel-better-and-happy/
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