How to Body Language of a Man Secretly in Love with You

Spot his cues to prove he’s secretly falling for you

Is there a guy out there who might have feelings for you? Maybe he’s someone you’ve been on a few dates with, or maybe he’s just the office hottie who you flirt with at work. Whoever he might be, uncovering his feelings and seeing if he likes you back takes some subtle detective work. Fortunately, by studying his body language and how he interacts with you, you can make an educated guess as to how he’s feeling about you. Read on to learn about the body language to watch for and how to know that his feelings are more than just platonic.

This article is based on an interview with our professional dating coach, John Keegan, founder of The Awakened Lifestyle.

[Edit]Things You Should Know

• Look for signs like sustained eye contact and dilated pupils. Typically, this means that someone has feelings for you.
• Watch for subconscious grooming, like when he touches his hair or fixes his tie.
• Pay attention to whether or not he mirrors your own body language.

[Edit]Steps

[Edit]He makes eye contact with you.

1. Eye contact is a sure sign that someone wants to connect with you. When you two talk, does he make it a point to look directly into your eyes? While this can sometimes feel a little intense, it’s a really good sign—it tells you that he wants to keep the conversation going, and that his feelings might be a bit more than surface-level.^[1]
   
   • You might also catch him staring at you, or glancing in your direction frequently.
   • Eye contact can be tough for some people, so don’t take it personally if he has trouble meeting your gaze. For shy guys, avoiding your eyes might be the hint that he likes you.
   • So if you’re struggling to read that body language cue, you’re not alone!

[Edit]He raises his eyebrows when he sees you.

1. A quick raise of the eyebrows shows that he’s attracted to you. This one can be tough to spot, because it’s fast: in the first 1 to 2 seconds after he spots you, his eyebrows will quickly raise and then lower again. This is an automatic response that we all do when we see someone we’re attracted to.^[2]
   
   • Lifting your eyebrows opens your eyes more, making them look inviting and warm. This is probably why this move is so ingrained in us.

[Edit]He touches his hair.

1. Stroking his hair shows that he’s nervous around you. If he has short hair, he might pet the back of his head or smooth the top of his hair down. If he has long hair, he might stroke the ends of it or twirl it around his fingers. This is a sign that he really cares what you think about him, and he’s subconsciously grooming himself to look good for you.^[3]
   
   • Sometimes, men also play with their hair as a subconscious way to make themselves look taller. When his hand is raised to his head, you might perceive him as a few inches taller than he actually is.

[Edit]His pupils dilate.

1. Our pupils get bigger when we see someone we’re attracted to. Lean in close and try to look at his eyes the next time you see him. Do his pupils become larger the longer he looks at you? If so, his body is giving away his attraction to you.^[4]
   
   • Pupils also dilate when we head into a dark room, so make sure you’re standing somewhere bright when you look for this sign.

[Edit]He mirrors your body language.

1. Mimicking your body language is a subconscious cue that he likes you. When you lean back, he leans back, too. If you cross your arms, he crosses his arms, too. He isn’t doing this intentionally—humans automatically mirror someone’s body language when we like them (or want to be like them).^[5]
   
   • Test this out next time you see him by putting your hands in your pockets or crossing your legs. If he does the same thing soon after, there’s a good chance he’s secretly into you.

[Edit]He smiles around you.

1. A genuine smile lets you know he’s happy to be around you. People smile more when they’re around those that they like, especially if there’s something a little more than platonic going on. If you keep catching glimpses of his pearly whites, there’s a very good chance that he likes you.^[6]
   
   • The same thing goes for laughter, too. Try telling him a terrible pun that’s not actually funny. If he laughs like you just told him the best joke he’s ever heard, he’s definitely got a crush on you.

[Edit]He touches you on the arm.

1. A casual touch is a classic flirting technique. Pay attention to how close you two get: does he pat you on the shoulder while you talk? Does he touch your arm after you say something funny? People normally touch someone else when they want to get closer to them, so it probably means that he has deeper feelings for you.^[7]
   
   • He might also pat you on the leg or touch your knee while sitting down.

[Edit]He leans in toward you.

1. Leaning in means that he wants to get closer to you. Sure, it’s a little bit literal, but it’s the truth—a guy will make an effort to lean toward you when he likes you. Pay attention to how close he stands next to you or how far he leans over the table across from you.^[8]
   
   • You’ll probably notice that he’s leaning inside of your personal bubble. This is because he doesn’t notice the boundaries anymore; he just wants to be close to you.

[Edit]He faces you.

1. When someone turns toward you, they’re giving you all their attention. When you two are standing to chat, his feet and torso will always be pointed toward you. When you two sit next to each other, he’ll angle his chair to face you. This open body language is a clear non-verbal sign that he has feelings for you.^[9]
   
   • On the flip side, you can tell someone doesn’t really want to chat if they point their feet away from you.

[Edit]He looks relaxed around you.

1. When he’s relaxed, he feels like he can be himself around you. When you approach him, his shoulders move downward and his expression looks open. This is because your presence is calming, and he likes having you around.^[10]
   
   • Other signs to watch for include uncrossed arms and legs. When someone crosses their extremities, they’re usually feeling a tad bit anxious or nervous.

[Edit]He listens when you talk.

1. He might give you his full attention because he cares what you have to say. Have you ever met someone who didn’t actually listen when you spoke? When a guy is secretly in love with you, he’ll be the opposite: you’ll have him hanging on every word you say.^[11]
   
   • He’ll probably ask you follow-up questions and remember everything you say days later—even tiny, mundane details.

[Edit]He messes with his tie or his coat.

1. He’s adjusting his outfit to look good for you. Similar to the hair-touching phenomenon, guys will often adjust their clothing when someone attractive comes into the room. You might catch him adjusting his tie, unzipping his coat, or smoothing his shirt down.^[12]
   

[Edit]He removes obstacles between you two.

1. A lack of physical barriers shows that he wants to be near you. If you two sit at a table with a vase of flowers in the center, he’ll push it off to the side. If he’s holding a bag or satchel, he’ll set it down instead of putting it in front of him. This is because he’s subconsciously showing you that he’s totally open to being with you.^[13]
   
   • People who don’t like each other often subconsciously place barriers in between themselves.

[Edit]He touches his own face.

1. He might touch his face because he’s subconsciously turned on. It’s subtle, but when we’re turned on by someone, our face (and especially our lips) becomes more sensitive. He might run his hand along his cheek or gently brush his own lips because he’s feeling ooey gooey inside.^[14]
   
   • If he’s drinking, he’ll take more sips of his drink for the same reason: to draw attention to his lips.

[Edit]He acts nervous or fidgets around you.

1. Shy guys tend to get anxious around people they like. If your guy is a little bit nervous, you might catch him fidgeting or acting like he can’t stand still when you’re around. This is because he’s excited to see you, but also because he’s afraid of messing things up.^[15]
   
   • Landing a shy guy can be a bit of a challenge, but you can get him to open up by making the first move.

[Edit]He stands with his hands on his hips.

1. A power stance subconsciously draws attention to his crotch. Okay, this one isn’t the most flattering of signs, but guys definitely do it. When he stands, he probably plants his feet hip-width apart and puts his hands on his hips. This is to subtly direct your attention, ah… down under.^[16]
   
   • Keep in mind that he’s doing this subconsciously—he doesn’t actually know that he wants you to look down there.

[Edit]He lends you his coat.

1. Giving you his coat shows that he wants to protect you. He doesn’t want to see you shiver—he’d rather freeze in the cold himself than see you suffer. Guys typically only give up their jackets to people they like, so if this happens to you, count yourself lucky.^[17]
   
   • Plus, giving you his coat means you two have to reconnect later on so you can give it back to him.

[Edit]References

1. ↑ [v161981_b01]. 7 September 2021.
2. ↑ https://www.scienceofpeople.com/someone-likes-you/
3. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/cutting-edge-leadership/202107/the-9-primary-signals-flirtation
4. ↑ https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3411709/
5. ↑ https://www.scienceofpeople.com/male-body-language/
6. ↑ [v161147_b01]. 10 June 2021.
7. ↑ [v161147_b01]. 10 June 2021.
8. ↑ [v161147_b01]. 10 June 2021.
9. ↑ [v161582_b02]. 1 October 2020.
10. ↑ [v161014_b01]. 29 May 2019.
11. ↑ [v161981_b01]. 7 September 2021.
12. ↑ https://www.scienceofpeople.com/male-body-language/
13. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/let-their-words-do-the-talking/201607/5-nonverbal-clues-someone-is-interested-in-you
14. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/cutting-edge-leadership/202107/the-9-primary-signals-flirtation
15. ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/articles/relationships-communication/tips-for-finding-lasting-love.htm
16. ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/articles/relationships-communication/nonverbal-communication.htm
17. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/rethinking-men/201501/chivalry