How to Make Yourself Feel Better

Everyone goes through times where they feel stressed, sad, or overwhelmed. It's not fun feeling that way, but fortunately, there are things you can do to lift your mood, no matter what you're dealing with. If you're not sure where to start, don't worry—we're here to answer any questions you might have so you can get back on the path to feeling like yourself again.

[Edit]Steps

[Edit]Is there anything I can do to feel happier instantly?

  1. Make yourself smile or laugh for a quick pick-me-up. Even if you don't really feel like it, try to put a smile on your face—smiling can help perk up your mood, even if it's only a little bit.[1] If you really want a boost, though, find something that tickles your funny bone. Laughing can help you feel happier and less stressed. Even better, it's just fun![2]
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    • Try putting on a show that always makes you giggle, pull up YouTube videos of comedians you like, or browse through a gallery of silly pictures or memes. Anything that gets you chuckling!
  2. Get some sun for a serotonin boost. When you're feeling down, it might be tempting to curl up in your room with the curtains drawn, but that can actually make things worse. Instead, head out for a walk, eat lunch outside, or even just sit near an open window. As little as 15 minutes in the sun can actually help increase your serotonin levels, making you feel happier and less stressed.[3]
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    • If you have a free afternoon, bring a book and a snack to a local park to get a big dose of fresh air and sunshine.
    • Don't forget to wear sunscreen!

[Edit]How do I relax when I'm stressed or anxious?

  1. Take a few slow, deep breaths. When you're feeling stressed or anxious, your breathing tends to become shallow and quick. By intentionally slowing down and taking deeper breaths, you can help relax your nervous system, which has a physically calming effect on your whole body. It also helps you feel more in control of your emotions, so it can reduce your stress and anxiety in the long-term, too.[4][5]
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    • If you're really tense and it feels hard to catch your breath, start by exhaling slowly first.
  2. Distract yourself with something you enjoy. When you make time for yourself, you'll feel better in the moment AND in the long run. Find something you enjoy and make time for it regularly, whether it's once a day, once a week, or some other schedule that works for you.[6]
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    • A lot of people find it helpful to exercise when they're feeling stressed—go for a jog, take a spin class, lift weights, swim a few laps, or play a sport you enjoy.
    • Art can also be a great way to express your emotions. For instance, you might draw or paint a picture, write a poem or short story, or play a musical instrument.
    • Put on some upbeat music when you're doing mundane tasks like laundry or dishes. Not only will it boost your mood, but it will make your chores seem more fun, too!

[Edit]What can I do to cheer up when I'm sad?

  1. Let yourself cry if you need to. It's really important to let yourself feel your emotions when they come up, so if you're feeling overwhelmed with sadness, give yourself a few minutes to let it all out. Not only does crying allow your body to release stress hormones, but at the end of a good cry, your body will actually be physically calmer, with a lower heart and breathing rate.[7]
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    • Some sadness is a normal part of life. However, if you feel like you can't control your crying or your sadness is interfering with your ability to function, consider talking to a licensed therapist—it could be a sign of depression or an anxiety-related condition.[8]
  2. Reach out to your support system. When you're feeling down, it can be incredibly helpful to just talk to someone. Call up a family member or a friend who makes you feel cared for and open up to them about how you're feeling. When you connect with someone else, it helps you feel like you belong, boosts your self-worth, and gives the other person a chance to give you emotional support.[9]
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    • Sometimes, even just hugging someone you care about can help you start to feel better!
    • If you can, try to spend time together in-person, since that will make you feel more connected. If that's not possible, though, try talking on the phone or video chatting—those feel more personal than texting or emailing.[10]
    • Try doing something nice for someone else—you'd be amazed how much that can benefit your own mood!

[Edit]How do I figure out what's bringing me down?

  1. Look for a common factor in your down days. Sometimes it takes a little soul-searching to get to the root of what's really affecting you. Think about the last time you felt down—does it have anything in common with how you're feeling right now? Maybe you feel bad about your career when you see hang out with someone you see as successful, for instance, or maybe you came across a picture of your ex on social media and it brought up some old hurts. Even if you tried to brush off those feelings at the time, they might be lingering around.[11]
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    • Once you know what the problem is, you can start looking for ways to either avoid these situations or to cope with them better.
  2. Try writing about your feelings in a journal. Writing is a great emotional outlet, but it also helps you process your thoughts and feelings. This can help you get a lot of clarity about what's really bothering you, while also helping relieve some of your stress and emotional discomfort. It can even help you track your triggers over time, so you'll become more aware of what's affecting you and how to avoid it.[12]
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    • If you are dealing with emotional pain that you do not feel comfortable sharing, writing or journaling about your experiences can be a powerful way to express those feelings without having to open up to anyone else.
  3. Talk to a therapist if you can't figure out what the problem is. Sometimes, it's more than just a funk. If you're frequently feeling sad or stressed and you can't quite pinpoint the problem, you might have something else going on, like clinical depression or an anxiety disorder. Meeting with a licensed mental health professional can help you get to the bottom of it, and they can help you with strategies to get your life back on track.[13]
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[Edit]How can I be happier in the future?

  1. Learn to cope with or avoid your triggers. Over time, as you cope with your emotions, you may start to notice that you're often affected by similar issues. If that happens, think about what you can do to avoid or better cope with the source of the problem. That can be a lot more powerful than simply venting about it—although interestingly, talking to friends or writing about your feelings can make it easier to identify these patterns.[14]
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    • For instance, you might find that you feel bad about yourself every time you hang out with a certain friend. In that case, you might be better off leaving the friendship.
    • On the other hand, you might discover that you tend to be more stressed on days you run late for work. It may help to start going to bed an hour earlier so it's easier to wake up in the mornings.
  2. Avoid things that feel good in the moment but not long-term. When you're down, it can be tempting to self-soothe with things like drinking alcohol, eating indulgent treats, or going on a shopping binge. While those things are fine in moderation, they're not a great coping strategy—and when you're using them as a substitute for happiness, it's easy to take them too far.[15]
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    • For instance, eating a bit of dessert at the end of a nice meal can be a yummy treat. However, when you're sad, sitting on the couch with a container of ice cream and a spoon will probably just make you feel lousier later on.

[Edit]How do I show myself love?

  1. Make self-care a priority. Taking care of your health is one of the most important things you can do for yourself. Eat a healthy diet, get active for about 30 minutes a day, and aim for 7-8 hours of sleep every night if you're an adult. It sounds simple enough, but if you're not already doing that, you'll probably be amazed at the effect it has on your mood and overall mental health.[16]
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    • If you're a teenager, try to get 8-10 hours of sleep a night.[17]
  2. Focus on the good things about yourself. It's pretty easy to be your own worst critic. After all, you know all the worst things about yourself, right? Well, try turning that around—you know all the best things about yourself, too! Try writing down some of the things that you love about yourself—maybe you're proud of the way you're always there when your friends need you, or maybe you make the best grilled cheese sandwiches of all time. Whatever they are, write them out, then read over the list when you need a little self-esteem boost.
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    • Add to the list every time you realize something else about yourself you like! Start small if you need to—it will get easier with time.

[Edit]How do I stop being hard on myself when I make a mistake?

  1. Talk to yourself the way you'd talk to a friend. It seems like it's always easier to be kind to other people than to ourselves. When you're getting down on yourself, ask yourself, "Would I talk that way to someone else?" If the answer is no, soften the tone of your thoughts—you can be honest with yourself about how you can improve without putting yourself down or calling yourself mean names.[18]
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    • For instance, if you fail a test and you catch yourself thinking things like, "I'm so dumb" or "I never do anything right," replace that with, "I need to make a plan for how to study for the next test so I can do better."
    • Try not to compare yourself to other people—everyone goes at their own pace, so it's fine if it takes you a little longer to reach your goals.

[Edit]How can I get out of my own head?

  1. Use mindfulness to stay in the moment. Mindfulness is a practice where you intentionally focus on what's happening in the present moment, rather than getting lost in your thoughts. It takes practice, but with time, it will get easier to bring yourself back to what's around you.[19]
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    • Try focusing on your physical senses—find things that you can see, feel, hear, smell, and taste, for instance.
    • Some people find things like yoga and tai-chi to be helpful as they practice mindfulness. Others enjoy mindfulness meditation, where you take a few minutes each day to be intentionally present, while still acknowledging your thoughts and emotions as they come up.

[Edit]Video

[Edit]Related wikiHows

[Edit]References

[Edit]Quick Summary

  1. https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2019/04/190412094728.htm
  2. https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/stress-management/in-depth/stress-relief/art-20044456
  3. https://www.helpguide.org/articles/depression/coping-with-depression.htm
  4. [v161308_b02]. 19 March 2020.
  5. https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/stress-management/in-depth/decrease-stress-by-using-your-breath/art-20267197
  6. https://www.nhs.uk/mental-health/self-help/tips-and-support/how-to-be-happier/
  7. https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/emotional-freedom/201007/the-health-benefits-tears
  8. https://www.betterhealth.vic.gov.au/health/healthyliving/its-okay-to-feel-sad
  9. https://www.nhs.uk/mental-health/self-help/tips-and-support/how-to-be-happier/
  10. https://www.helpguide.org/articles/depression/coping-with-depression.htm
  11. https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/adult-health/in-depth/self-esteem/art-20045374
  12. https://www.urmc.rochester.edu/encyclopedia/content.aspx?contenttypeid=1&contentid=4552
  13. https://www.helpguide.org/articles/depression/coping-with-depression.htm
  14. https://www.urmc.rochester.edu/encyclopedia/content.aspx?contenttypeid=1&contentid=4552
  15. https://www.health.harvard.edu/healthbeat/watch-out-for-unhealthy-responses-to-stress
  16. https://www.nhs.uk/mental-health/self-help/tips-and-support/how-to-be-happier/
  17. https://kidshealth.org/en/teens/how-much-sleep.html
  18. https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/adult-health/in-depth/self-esteem/art-20045374
  19. https://www.nhs.uk/mental-health/self-help/tips-and-support/mindfulness/

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