How to Make Friends in Your 20s

You’ve graduated college, moved away, started a new job, and even though you know you should be feeling happy, you’re simply lonely. Taylor Swift said it best: your 20s are all about feeling “miserable and magical,” but where’s the magical part? We know just how rough transitioning into the adult world can be, and we’re here to help. In this article, we’ll fill you in on some easy and fun ways you can make friends in your 20s. Keep reading to learn how you can take the initiative and get the friend group of your dreams.

This article is based on an interview with our certified life coach and professional astrologer, Tracey Rogers.

[Edit]Steps

[Edit]Enroll in a class.

1. Following a passion or learning a new skill can help you find friends. After college, it can be a little hard following a routine that isn’t structured around school. People with similar interests used to be seated around you in class, but who’s to say you can’t have that in your 20s too? Sign up for a local fitness, cooking, or even crafting class.^[1]
   
   • For example, if you like to write or read, head to the library to see if they have any writing classes or book discussions coming up.
   • Following your curiosities could lead you to an everlasting friendship—not to mention you’ll learn something new in the process!

[Edit]Join a local club.

1. One of the best ways to make friends is through common interests. There’s something out there for everybody, from book clubs to soccer clubs. Follow your interests and curiosities because you never know what other like-minded people you’ll meet.^[2]
   
   • You can find local clubs online through Facebook and Meetup.com.
   • All you have to do is a quick search of the hobby you’re interested in and your location.
   • Pay attention to bulletin boards when you’re out and about. Some clubs and organizations will hang flyers around town for upcoming meetings and events.

[Edit]Attend local events and concerts.

1. Meet people with similar interests by going out and having fun. Think about it. The people you want to hang out with the most are probably where you’d want to hang out. Scour social media and the local paper to see what’s going on in your town. You can look for live music events, farmers' markets, and even a theater show.^[3]
   
   • Don’t be afraid to go to events alone! This might give you the motivation you need to talk to someone. Who knows? Asking for directions could lead to a new friend.
   • If you attend an event on your own, make sure someone you trust knows where you are. It’s always better to be safe than sorry.

[Edit]Talk to your coworkers.

1. You probably talk to your coworkers everyday—why not make friends with them? Lean toward a coworker you vibe with, no matter their age, and see where it takes you. Maybe you invite them out to coffee or ask about a picture they have on their desk. Taking the time to show that you want to get to know someone can do wonders in cultivating a lasting friendship.^[4]
   
   • Compliments can go a long way, so don’t be afraid to compliment their outfit, work ethic, or even music taste.
   • You could say something like, “I love your sweater! Where did you get it?” or “You’re so organized. Any tips for a stationary hog like me?”
   • Just remember to be yourself, and the friends will start rolling in with time.

[Edit]Put yourself out there on social media.

1. Bumble, Instagram, and Facebook will be your BFFs for finding a BFF. Posting about your desire to make friends won’t come across as desperate—it’ll captivate others feeling the same way you are! Comment on people’s posts and send DMs to put yourself out there and take a chance.^[5]
   
   • Try messaging them something like, “Saw you went downtown recently. Got any food recommendations?” or “I love that bar! Are you going to open mic night?”
   • Your 20s can be tough, but know that you’re not alone in feeling the challenges of change!
   • Be vulnerable and vocalize your feelings. It may just lead you to your newest friend.

[Edit]Say “yes” more often.

1. Opening yourself up to new opportunities is a great way to make friends. How will you grow if you say “no” to absolutely everything? Take the chance and say “yes” to everything—within reason, of course. For example, if coworkers are going out for lunch, go try out the new burger joint with them. The more you say “yes,” the more opportunities you’ll have to bond with others.^[6]
   
   • Friendships rely on proximity and reliability.
   • If you’re known as the person who’s down for almost anything, you’ll be asked to hang out more often.
   • Just remember to set boundaries for yourself. You don’t have to say “yes” to everything, but it is important to step safely out of your comfort zone when trying to make friends.

[Edit]Volunteer for a cause you care for.

1. Find like-minded people by volunteering in your area. Volunteering is a great way to get yourself out there and help the community. Not only can you meet new people, but you can also learn more about local causes and the general area. Who knows? You may find your future BFF while stocking a soup kitchen.^[7]
   
   • Head to your town’s social media or talk to neighbors to see if there are any volunteering opportunities nearby.
   • You can also do a quick online search for “volunteer [insert name of town].”

[Edit]Introduce yourself to familiar faces.

1. A conversation with an acquaintance could lead to a budding friendship. There are places you frequent in your life every week or so: the gym, coffee shop, local grocery store, dog park, etc. After visiting these places for a while, you’ll notice familiar faces walking past. Maybe you smile or wave when you see them, but why not take the next step and introduce yourself? You may just make a new friend.^[8]
   
   • Start with a general compliment or statement like, “You always put just the right amount of sugar in my coffee!” or, “I love your leggings! Where’d you get them?”
   • Then, introduce yourself and ask for their name.
   • Now, you can say hello to them by name whenever you see them and spark even more conversation.

[Edit]Ask friends to introduce you to their friends.

1. Mutual friends can help get your social life started. If you’re moving to a new place, reach out to friends, family members, or social media followers to see if they have any connections. Ask if they have any friends in the city they’d be down to introduce you to IRL or on social media.^[9]
   
   • This is a great little trick if you’re a bit nervous about finding friends on your own. You trust your friend's judgment, so a friend of theirs could easily become your friend!
   • Think of it like passing a resume along, only you’re hoping to impress a friend rather than a future employer.

[Edit]Do things with your partner’s friends.

1. Your partner might have friends that you get along with, too. If you have a significant other, hang out with their friend group. This can be especially helpful if you’re moving in with your partner or heading towards their part of town. Ask them if you can all hang out for a night—go bowling, see a movie, or grab a bite to eat. You might just find peace in a friend group you kind of already knew.^[10]
   
   • Your partner can act as a buffer if you get anxious when meeting new people. You’ve got them to lean on if things get too awkward!

[Edit]Follow-up with people you meet.

1. Consistency is key when it comes to making friends as an adult. You’ve got one busy life, and your potential new friend probably does too. After you hang out with someone new, ask for their number or social media handles. This way, you can invite them out again or simply check in on them.^[11]
   
   • Comment on their social media posts to show them you’re interested in their lives.
   • Shoot them a text asking them if they want to grab a coffee or do some shopping over the weekend.
   • Try not to overthink it. Type out your message, and hit send. There’s no harm in putting yourself out there.^[12]

[Edit]Schedule time for friendships.

1. Make space in your everyday routine to connect with friends. Whether old or new, your friends need as much attention as you. Spending time together, online or IRL, will strengthen your friendship and prove that you’re reliable. So, send a “How are you doing?” text or schedule a time to meet up every week or month.^[13]
   
   • The effort you put into a friendship will help your friendship last, especially as you grow and change.
   • If you feel renewed and happy after hanging out with someone, they’re worth making time for! A true friend is someone you crave time with because they make you feel good inside and out.^[14]
   • Try setting up a designated time you and a friend can catch up every so many weeks. This way, you can both write it in your calendars and have something to look forward to.

[Edit]Learn to love your own company.

1. Self-confidence is key to navigating friendships in your 20s. There are ups and downs when it comes to finding new friends, and it’s important that you have a solid relationship with yourself first. Having security and being kind to yourself can help you push on when things feel a little lonely.^[15]
   
   • Remember that you’re not alone in feeling this way. You will find your people with time; just keep pressing on.
   • Stick to your routine, attend classes, go to events, and live your very best life. You’d be surprised by what can fall into your hands unexpectedly when you’re sure of yourself.

[Edit]Be patient.

1. Making friends takes time, especially with your new adult life. Alas, you can’t go to sleep one night and wake up with a handful of friends at your side—boy, it’d be nice if it were that easy! But being patient and persistent is part of the fun. Friendship takes work, and as long as you keep trying, you’ll find the right people.^[16]
   
   • Continue to show up even when you feel low.
   • Keep putting yourself out there because you never know when that best friend will come around the corner.
   • Change doesn’t happen overnight, and instead of feeling discouraged, take each day as a new opportunity to cultivate the life and friends you’re looking for.^[17]

[Edit]References

1. ↑ [v161230_b01]. 6 January 2020.
2. ↑ [v161230_b01]. 6 January 2020.
3. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/platonic-love/201909/5-skills-making-friends-adult
4. ↑ https://www.thecut.com/2014/08/ask-polly-how-do-i-make-friends-in-my-late-20s.html
5. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/platonic-love/201909/5-skills-making-friends-adult
6. ↑ https://stylecaster.com/how-to-make-friends-as-an-adult/
7. ↑ https://www.vogue.com/article/how-do-adults-make-new-friends
8. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/platonic-love/201909/5-skills-making-friends-adult
9. ↑ https://stylecaster.com/how-to-make-friends-as-an-adult/
10. ↑ https://www.thecut.com/2014/08/ask-polly-how-do-i-make-friends-in-my-late-20s.html
11. ↑ https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/soloish/wp/2017/04/25/how-to-make-and-keep-friends-in-your-20s/
12. ↑ [v161075_b01]. 11 April 2019.
13. ↑ https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/soloish/wp/2017/04/25/how-to-make-and-keep-friends-in-your-20s/
14. ↑ [v161075_b01]. 11 April 2019.
15. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/platonic-love/201909/5-skills-making-friends-adult
16. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/platonic-love/201908/the-secret-making-friends-adult
17. ↑ [v161230_b01]. 6 January 2020.