How to Be Romantic with Your Boyfriend

Spice up your relationship by giving your boyfriend thoughtful gifts, telling him how you feel about him, and more

Romance is a key ingredient to any successful relationship, but this doesn't mean that taking a moonlit stroll or having a candlelit dinner with your boyfriend is the only way to keep your relationship going strong. Looking for new and unique ways to be romantic with your boyfriend? We’ve got you covered. We’ve created a list of different ways to inject a little more romance into your relationship, from the simple to the elaborate. Keep reading for ideas!

This article is based on an interview with our licensed clinical psychologist and relationship coach, Sarah Schewitz, founder of Couples Learn.

[Edit]Things You Should Know

• You can be romantic with your boyfriend in creative ways, such as by writing “I love you” in hidden or unexpected places for him to find or making him a mix CD or playlist.
• Make him feel truly seen by bringing him thoughtful gifts or taking him out on a date someplace he’d love to go.
• Keep the romance alive for the long term by spicing things up in the bedroom or by taking time apart to help you both appreciate each other more.

[Edit]Steps

[Edit]Being Creative

1. Write "I love you" in unexpected places. Your boyfriend might expect you to write "I love you" at the end of a letter or a text message, but he won't expect to see it written in the steam after his shower, in the hot sauce on his morning omelet, or on a blank page of his notebook that he sees when he's about to take notes for class. Finding a creative and unique place to write "I love you" will make him think even more fondly of you when you're not there, and will make him feel more romantic because you've made a special effort to let him know that you care.
   
   • Just doing this once or twice a month can really show your boyfriend that you care. You don't have to overdo it.
2. Make him a mix CD or playlist. Make a mix or curate a playlist of "your songs," or really take his musical tastes into account and create a mix of songs you think he would like. Play your mix in the car next time you’re driving together to give him a pleasant surprise.
   
   • Make sure you know what music he listens to, what music he already owns, and what he likes before you go and do this.
   • Don't recommend your favorite bands if you know they aren't his thing, even if you really want to!
3. Make a scrapbook. Put together a scrapbook of all of your most meaningful memories. Add photos of you together, tickets from your favorite concert, a menu from the restaurant where you first said, "I love you," or notes that you wrote to each other throughout the course of your relationship. This can make a great anniversary or birthday gift, or you can give him the book just because.^[1]
   
   • This book will make him see how far you've come in your relationship, and will make him appreciate you even more.
   • This is also a gift to you! You can flip through your memory book for years to come.
4. Celebrate Valentine's Day early (or late). Who says Valentine's Day is only for February 14th? If you're both busy that day, or if you just want to be romantic on a random Wednesday, then plan an celebrating Valentine's Day on whatever day works for you two; you can use this time to shower each other with love and affection, dress up, and eat something delicious.
   
   • This fake Valentine's Day will be extra fun because you both will feel like you're in on a joke.
5. Act like little kids together. Little kids have an infinitive amount of wonder at the state of the world, along with a healthy dose of hope and optimism. So, take a day to just act like a kid with your boyfriend, and see how much your love for each other and the world grows when you do the silly things you loved to do as a kid. You two can go to a carnival, make balloon animals, finger paint, mud wrestle, or just do anything fun and silly that makes you feel more romantic and more alive. Here are some other things you can do:
   
   • Blow soap bubbles
   • Bake cookies
   • Make macaroni and cheese
   • Watch fireworks
   • Eat cotton candy at a baseball game
   • Go to a water park
   • Make s'mores
6. Take a pottery class together. Taking a pottery class with your boyfriend will be just as romantic as that one scene in Ghost—except it'll be even better because you'll both be alive. You'll be getting your hands dirty, learning something new, and creating something that you can bring home and put on your coffee table, however lopsided and misshaped your creation may be.
   
   • Not only will you have fun doing this, but you'll be developing even more affection for one another.
7. Make a book of all of the emails you've written to each other. If you've spent a lot of time apart and have sent long emails to each other, or if you're just the kind of people who love sending each other emails, print out all of your sweet, funny, and romantic emails and put them in a book for your boyfriend. He'll read over all of your love notes and will remember all of the great times you've had and all of the memories you've shared.
   
   • An affectionate email can be just as romantic as a love note. Just punch holes in the emails and bind them together with thick colorful string and hand 'em over.

[Edit]Being Thoughtful

1. Give him thoughtful gifts. Don't just give your boyfriend a six pack of his favorite beer and take him out to Pizza Hut. Put in a little effort to figure out what he really likes and cares about, and what gift would actually mean something to him, and what would surprise him and make him see that you've put an effort into the gift.^[2] Remember that the best gifts are often given "just because," not for a birthday or another special occasion. Here are some ideas to get you started:
   
   • Does he love hiking or camping? Get him the latest camping or hiking gear, something he's been wanting for a while.
   • Does he love fine ales or wines? Get him a subscription to a beer or wine of the month club.
   • Is he a video game junkie? Get him a new game that's all the rage, or update his gaming equipment.
   • Is he a concert fanatic? Find out when his favorite band is coming to town before he does and get him some tickets.
2. Write him thoughtful notes. Not every not-in-person communication has to come through a computer or a phone. If you're going to be apart for a day or two, or even for a few hours, write him a sweet note telling him how much he means to you or how much you'll miss him while you're apart. Just telling him to have a nice day and to let him know that you're thinking of him can make all the difference.
   
   • You can write your note on a post-it and put it on his mirror, put the note in his lunch bag, school bag, or work bag, or leave the note on his windshield. Part of the romance will come from the surprise.
3. Take him on an extra-special date. Though you and your boyfriend can probably have fun no matter where you go, make an effort to plan some dates that are special and feel really romantic.^[3] This depends on what you and your boyfriend like and the kinds of things that make you happy together. If you suggest a date that would be perfect for your boyfriend, then he'll be impressed by how much thought and effort you're putting into the relationship. Here are some ideas:
   
   • Does your boyfriend love baseball? Take a trip to the batting cages together.
   • Is it snowing just a little bit? You're never too old to go ice skating.
   • If you both want to hang out but don't feel like going anywhere, cook your favorite meal together.
   • Spend a day out on the beach or near a lake. Being near or in a body of water will make you feel more romantic.
   • Think of the thing your boyfriend has always talked about doing. Make it happen.
4. Do him favors. You may not think that doing your boyfriend's laundry on the week when he has a big exam coming up is very romantic, but he'll appreciate it. Romance isn't all about the grand gestures, but about the little things that show your boyfriend that you really care about him and want to make him happy. Ideally, of course, you’d both be doing each other favors; you don’t need to turn into his errand girl to win him over.
   
   • If he's having a really busy day, make him lunch or pick it up for him.
   • Step out in the morning to bring him back some coffee and muffins if you know he doesn't have anything to eat for breakfast.
   • If you're going to the store anyway, pick him up the few items he needs so you can save him the trip.
   • If he tends to be forgetful and has a big deadline coming up, remind him when it is to show him that you're paying attention.
5. Take the time to understand his interests. This doesn't mean you have to tag along with him and his buddies to watch Monday night football. But it does mean making an effort to see why he cares about football or whatever other interests mean nothing to you. See what's behind his love for hiking, painting, historical non-fiction, comics, or whatever else makes him tick.
   
   • Ask him questions about these things, and see if you can come along as he explores his interests if they intrigue you. Now that's romantic.

[Edit]Being Affectionate

1. Give your boyfriend affectionate touches. Make an effort to give your boyfriend reassuring, loving touches from time to time so he knows that you care about him.^[4] Squeeze his hand at the movies; run your hand through his hair when you're waking up; give him a playful shove when you're teasing each other. Don’t be all over him all the time (especially if he’s not super into PDA); just pick the right moments to touch him, at least a few times a day.
   
   • Making that physical connection whenever it feels right is very romantic.
2. Give him meaningful compliments. Don't just say, "You're so hot" or "I really like you." Let him know what it is that makes him feel so special to you. Tell him he has a great smile, that you love his sense of humor, that you admire his work ethic, or that you think he's so good at knowing exactly how you're feeling. Make a point of finding something new you like about him every so often and let him know how you really feel.
   
   • Compliments are best delivered in person, but you can also always tell him how you feel in a love note, email, or phone call.
3. Show him affection when you're apart. If you're spending some time apart, whether it's a week or an entire summer, let him know you still care. This doesn't mean calling him 20 times a day to see what he's doing; just check in to let him know that you care and that you're thinking about him, at least once a day.
   
   • You don't have to talk on the phone every single day, if you're both busy and feel like you're just doing it to check an item off your list. But check in at least once a day when you're apart, whether it's by calling, texting, or emailing him.
   • Text him to let him know you're thinking of him.
   • If you both have video phones or Zoom, make a video date or two each week, so you can still see each other and remember how much you love being together.
   • So, suggest a casual game of 20 Questions when you're apart!
4. Give him an unexpected six-second kiss at least once a day. Even if you're both tired, busy, or just not feeling affectionate, try to kiss each other at least once a day. Make the effort to give him just one six-second long kiss each day, and you'll be upping the romance factor in your relationship, and strengthening your bond as a couple.^[5] Don't just give him a routine peck on the lips or cheek before you have to leave, but pick an unexpected time to kiss him.
   
   • Kissing is the most basic way to let your boyfriend know how much you care.
5. Tell him why he's an amazing boyfriend. Don't forget to let him know exactly how much he means to you. Often, words are the best way to show affection. You can tell him in a letter, or tell him casually over dinner. Make a list of at least five things that make him an amazing boyfriend, and let him know exactly what these things are, so he really sees how much he means to you.
   
   • You can be even more spontaneous than that. If he does something that strikes you as amazing, just tell him what it is.
6. Give him a massage. Giving your boyfriend a massage will not only kick up the sexiness factor in your relationship, but it will also be a great way of showing him affection and letting him see that you really care. If he comes back home after a long day or work or school, make him sit down and give him a good shoulder massage. You can move to his neck, his biceps, and his lower back. Help him relax and get all of those pesky knots out of his back, and he'll be feeling your lovin' for a long time.
   
   • For a longer and more intimate massage, have him lie on his stomach for you.

[Edit]Keeping the Romance Alive

1. Never stop the courtship. Even if you and your boyfriend have been together for years, you can keep the magic alive by continually working to impress each other, chasing each other, and reminding each other why your relationship is so great. Don't just fall into the same old dull routine because it's "pretty good" and has been working thus far; take your relationship to the next level by always trying new things and keeping it interesting.
   
   • Don't stop telling each other how much you mean to each other.
   • Keep up your weekly "date nights," and make sure you leave the house for most of them.
   • Make sure you try something new together at least once a month, whether it's a new restaurant or a new sport.
   • Be spontaneous. Go on a random weekend trip you planned the night before; sign up for a salsa class at the last minute.^[6]
2. Tend to your looks. A solid relationship is about more than looks, and you don’t need to dress to the 9s regularly, but grooming yourself often and caring about your appearance shows your boyfriend you value him and the relationship (and hopefully he’s doing the same for you). Being intentional about your appearance has the added benefit of making you feel good, too.^[7]
   
   • You can make a point of dressing up extra nicely for some of your date nights, even if you're not going anywhere that fancy.
3. Keep your bedroom in a sexy state. If you and your boyfriend are sleeping together, make sure you get together in a place that makes you feel romantic. If you can hook up in your bedroom, make sure that it's neat, clean, and that it feels like it's made just for you two to kiss each other; don't hook up near textbooks or the piles of folders you brought home from work. When you're getting intimate in the bedroom, intimacy should be the only thing on your minds.
   
   • Spice things up in the bedroom now and again too. If you’ve been together a while, sex might not feel as fresh or exciting as it used to, but you can breathe new life into your relationship by asking your boyfriend about his fantasies and sharing yours, and maybe trying to act out one of those fantasies.
4. Maintain your independence. If you want to keep your relationship feeling fresh, then you and your boyfriend have to spend some time apart. If you're always together, then you won't have as much to talk about, and you won't be able to miss each other or appreciate each other when you're apart. No matter how close you are, it's important to [[Be-Independent-in-a-Relationship|maintain your independence. You can do this by pursuing your own interests and hanging out with your friends and families apart from each other from time to time.
   
   • Just going out with your friends without your boyfriend every week or two will help you appreciate him more.
   • Let your boyfriend go out and do his own thing now and again too and he'll appreciate you—and feel more romantic—even more.
5. Do activities that raise your adrenaline together. If you and your boyfriend do something romantic together that gets your blood pumping and makes you feel good, you will be guaranteed to feel more sexy and romantic. This can take the form of any kind of exercise such as long walks, hiking, biking, running, yoga, ballroom dancing, or just going to the gym together.
   
   • A couple that works out together stays together. And stays in shape.^[8]
   • Raising your adrenaline will also put you in a better mood, and will make you more fond of the person you're with.

[Edit]Related wikiHows

• Buy Your Girlfriend the Perfect Gift
• Get Rid of Your Boyfriend's Game Addiction
• Get Your Girlfriend to Play Video Games
• Keep a Man in Love with You
• Sneak Your Arm Around Your Date

[Edit]References

[Edit]Quick Summary

1. ↑ https://hative.com/romantic-scrapbook-ideas-for-boyfriend/
2. ↑ [v160997_b02]. 15 April 2019.
3. ↑ [v160997_b02]. 15 April 2019.
4. ↑ [v160997_b02]. 15 April 2019.
5. ↑ https://www.gottman.com/blog/the-six-second-kiss/
6. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/emotional-fitness/201010/10-ways-make-your-relationship-magically-romantic
7. ↑ https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/25367114/
8. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/meet-catch-and-keep/201401/5-reasons-why-couples-who-sweat-together-stay-together